Potent Quotables

The best in soft-core screenwriting, updated nightly.
Nov 18
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“ Breastdiba The Genie: I am a genie after all … is there a special wish I can grant you?
David: Okay … I wish you had the biggest jugs I’d ever seen!
(Comical jug-enlargement sound effects as jugs “enlarge” offscreen)
David: (mouthing) Holy shit!
— Witches Of Breastwick 2
Jul 30
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“ Katya: We make chocolate-covered cherries.
(She pulls one out of her pocket and gives it to Corrine.)
Corrine: Mmmmmm!!! What is in this?
Katya: Chocolate and cherry.
— Hotel Erotica Cabo: Chocolate Covered Cherries
Apr 27
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“ Agent Richardson: You’re never going to get away with this, you fiend!
Largo: Oh, yeah? That’s what they said when we fixed the election in Florida.
— Girl With Sex-Ray Eyes
Feb 14
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“ Rose: I was walking around thinking…
Jenny: Hm. Good for you. I never have time to think.
— Kinky Sex Club
Feb 09
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“ This is a BUNCH of SHIT!!!!
— Forbidden Passions
Feb 07
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“ Doctor: That’s probably not the best reason to get augmentation procedure.
Abby: Well, in your professional opinion, what do you think?
(Doctor fondles Abby’s breasts.)
Doctor: Well, I think they’re quite spectacular.
— Behind Bedroom Doors
Jan 31
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“ Busty Cop #1: Well, I’m not makin’ another move until I consult the Dolly Lammy.
Busty Cop #2: Thank god for the Dolly Lammy.
(They walk to a corral. We see a LLAMA.)
Llama: Well, hello there sweet tits!
— Busty Cops
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“ Larry: You know what they say … behind every good love doctor, there’s a great engineer.
Maggie: I like having you behind me.
Larry: So do I.
Maggie: Well, maybe you should be behind me more often.
— Hollywood Sexcapades: Let’s Play Doctor
Jan 30
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“

What a great day! The kind of day that makes you want to go out and pick up some guy in a cafe and fuck him on your lunch break!

(Beat)

Oh, wait. I already did that.
— The Erotic Traveler
Jan 29
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“ Ironic, isn’t it? A relationship counselor. All those years giving advice about love and sex … I guess I spent so much time thinking about it, I’ve forgotten to feel.
— Passion Cove 7: Forbidden Fruit